Disenchantment

It seems everybody and his brother are leaving or considering leaving Instagram these days. Even for those of us still there and active, I think the magic is gone. It feels more like a chore lately, at least for me, and comparing myself to those who use it as a platform for their work, who may still be seeing measurable, profitable benefits, I have to wonder… what am I still doing there?

I joined Instagram when I had a three year old a two year old, when I had mostly given up music for parenting, pre-homeschooling, in the days when mothering is really funny and fun, but also very lonely. I started a family before any of my friends up until that time, which caused my pre-baby social life to inevitably fade into the background. My sister had kids, but was in an older phase where they were involved in fun things like scouts, art classes, sports, while I was just beginning to emerge from “we nap at 11am, no exceptions” land. At the beginning, Instagram was an extension of my blog, and my blog was a lifeline for me in those early parenting years when I had absolutely no idea what I was doing, when I felt so totally alone and somewhat trapped in motherhood. Social media—Facebook, Instagram, Blogger—were ways for me to connect with other moms who were in the same boat, to share what my girls were doing, what I was doing, to feel like I had someone to talk to, someone to listen. I received not just “good feedback” but affirmative responses, readers acknowledging the chaos of my life, but also helping me see the absolute light that came from the mishaps of parenthood. I think social media played a big role in dragging me out of the postpartum depression that plagued me after my first two babies were born, and helped keep it away after the birth of my third. Not only that, but there was a friendly magic about all the photos and simple captions… it was a place of sharing joy. It was a place to see the happiness and antics of other families and to feel connected to them, even while in my real life I had few peers in the same stage of life. It was a good thing.

Continuing on through parenthood shared over the squares and scrollings of social media, other outlets came to light. I was able to find artists, musicians, writers, makers. I was finding connection not just with other moms, but with other moms (I say moms, but there were some dads too!) who were also doing the things I loved, creative things, domestic things. It was like an open window. It became a give-and-take of encouragement and inspiration, and, again—it was a GOOD thing.

Ah, but time. Ah, but progress. Ah, but change in the name of “betterment.”

I think it is generally agreed upon that social media has lost its luster. I don’t know when or how it happened. Was it when the feeds became profitable? Paywalls/subscriptions, business profiles, links to shops… it’s all great opportunity as a business. I took to Instagram with my Cobbled business right away because of the like-minded audience in residence there, and because it seemed to be the new way to use the platform, but without the personal side, without the commiseration, it seems …flat. “Hello, please buy this thing.” “Welcome, would you like to give me money?” “Hi, I have an amazing family, but what I really want to share with you is this product…”

And there is the child safety aspect as well. It doesn’t feel as comfortable or without consequence, sharing our children on the internet anymore. It was so innocent ten years ago! It was an opportunity to hear virtual applause for the announcement of a toddler’s first steps, first day of school, promotion to “older sibling.” Gosh. The beauty and wholesomeness of it. Now it feels, in all honesty, kind of scary. I hesitate more and more to put the faces of my beloveds into the vastness of the Web. (Is it called “the web” anymore? I think my dad still refers to it as that.)

FURTHERMORE—and this is a very good thing—my early time on social media saw me through an economical recession when the area in which I lived was NOT thriving or bustling. Currently, our location is experiencing a creative boom and the energy of my town is feeling very good and very REAL. Tangible shops, actual faces of real and amazing people are blooming all over my downtown neighborhood and it’s very exciting. It makes me want to be IN it, you know? Not just observing through a screen. I have to wonder if this sudden growth is a response to the complexity of social media. Perhaps it is the next step of progress for businesses, which, ironically, is feeling very much like a step back to the village style of commerce. I LOVE IT. We are moving out of virtual applause and into the real-life embrace. Two feet on the ground, and eyeballs looking into eyeballs, voices over a table, laughter you can hear, not just imagine, coming from smiling faces so close you can kiss their cheeks, or wipe their tears away with your napkin.

I’m not ready to make an exit from Instagram just yet, even though I consider it often, but I’m glad to have places like Substack to still be able to connect through writing with other people. It feels like the old days, keeping a blog to share and look back on.

Gosh, what a gift we humans are to each other. Connections made through the internet, connections made in a Main Street shop. Buy my product, meet my child, shake my hand, spread the word—we are all so incredible, and to know that so many of us want to keep stepping toward the brightness, leaving behind what feels distant and no longer right to follow something true and connecting… my goodness, that gives me so much hope.