A Different Kind of Recession

There are a lot of words and phrases that I believe are overused in this day and age. The whole introvert/extrovert thing, planets being in retrograde, the word “literally,” etc. So much over-usage! Among this collection of “I am saying this without really knowing what I’m talking about” is the label of “depressed.” I’m depressed, you’re depressed, wah wah wah. Depression is real! Depression is serious. It’s easy to jump into claiming that diagnosis for ourselves when our emotions and spirits are on the floor. But what if we take a minute to think about what depression really is, and decipher our actual internal feelings? Are we truly DEPRESSED? Are we unable to find any spark of joy? Ever? Are we crying all the time? Does our existence on earth feel totally bleak and lightless twenty-four hours a day? Or are we just kind of struggling?

Having experienced actual depression in my past, I have, over time, gained a better handle on my own mental health state as I’ve moved through the ebb and flow of life & hormones. (That would make a very good women’s magazine title, btw! Life & Hormones Weekly! Lol!) There are times I want to use the phrase “I’m depressed” but I don’t, because I know I’m NOT depressed. I might be feeling low. I might be feeling like the worst wife/mother/friend ever, but if I can give myself a good shake, I can usually snap out of that mindset at least for a bit. And truly see some joy, not just pretend my way through situations. It is in these cases (which I think are completely common and totally normal) that I believe we could use the word “recessed.”

Like an economical recession, there is a risk of this state morphing into something dire, into actual depression. But I can see a benefit to calling such a state what it is at that time. Nothing worse, nothing less. “I’m down.” “I’m feeling low.” “I sense depression lurking.” “I’m in a personal recession.” I really think it works!

On this note, I would definitely compare my past year to a shaky economy. “Stocks are up! I made a big dinner and played a little bit of music and did not feel despair when my day did not go as planned! Woohoo!” Likewise: “Stocks ended at their lowest point in history and the children ate chocolate chips and milk for supper after a truly terrible grocery shopping experience during which three people were crying, one knocked over a display of cereals, and one wet her pants in the pasta aisle. Felt no humor in the situation. Doom is imminent.” THE NEXT DAY: “Stocks made a surprising comeback this morning during a Raffi singalong session over wholesome scrambled eggs and sausage, followed by a steady day of substantial homeschool topics and everyone staying on task with spirits elevated.”

Maybe everyone’s daily life can be likened to an unpredictable economy, I don’t know. I’ve definitely had strings of bleaker outlooks, wondering where exactly is that tipping point that spills an emotional recession into the depths that can feel so impossible to return from? Still, currently, after a not-so-good morning during which I labeled myself The Worst (wife, mama, friend, homeschooler, homeowner, earth steward, ….pick anything, I was the self-declared Worst) I am finding a great deal of joy in a masala chai and a corner window seat at the coffee shop down the street from my house. Joy that depression would not even be able to see through the drowning waves, but that, in a recession, can keep you afloat until the tides turn again and things feel sunny and safe and good.

(P.S. I’ll say it again, depression is real real real, and if you think you are depressed, pleeeeeease find yourself some help and steady ground. You can overcome, and options for success are plentiful!)